turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
