Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
