Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
