Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
