I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize