Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
