Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
