Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
