Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
