Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
