I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
