tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
