3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
