The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
