I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
