i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
