You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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