so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I look better un-naked...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
