I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize