I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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