Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize