I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
