I just cut my nipple shaving
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
