what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am naked and annoyed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
