i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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