Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
