you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
