that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
