so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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