At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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