dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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