Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
