Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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