Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
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throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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