is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
