The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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