I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have so much sex to catch up on
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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