so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Text me some of your sweat
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
