they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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