I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
