kristin has been a bad kristin
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
