My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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