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It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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