she smelled like a LAN party
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist