It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
