Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
