He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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