she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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