ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
