i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
