i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
