Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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