doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
