my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
