why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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