i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize