there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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