I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
