I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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