Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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