If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
