if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
