Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
