dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The adults are the big ones right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
